A Few Classic and Contemporary Cliches, Updated

I love a trite, hackneyed expression as much as the next guy (see what I mean?). However, some of our most common axioms need greater clarity and accuracy.

Here's what I have so far:

1. Be yourself--unless you are a bad person.

2. Follow your gut--especially if it has a built-in GPS unit. Also, following your gut is easy if you have a nice big one.

3. A fool and his money are soon parted--except if he is a politician.

4. Everyone has a right to their own opinion--but you have the option of keeping it to yourself.

5. Look on the bright side--but not so long you burn out your retinas.

6. Everything happens for a reason--and the reason might be that you are a loser.


That's all for now. Let's hope we can push the envelope and take it to the next level.