Are you listening, Mr. Jobs?

When iPod sales begin to lag, I have some terrific ideas for new versions:

1. The iCaress--for lonely people when the iTouch isn't enough.

2. The iLoveLucy--for fans of old TV shows, also called the iYayYay.

3. The iPoop--a personal sound system for the bathroom.

4. The iSore--the unit doubles a massager for athletes, runners, etc.

5. The iCan'tBelieveit'snotaniPod--a joint effort of Microsoft and Sony to build a better unit.